Why do we love?

Good good day of mugging today in the library and council room, i finished 5 chapters of Chem :D:D:D Really happy with it yay. And had a good time talking with Paul the whole day too, lots of things to laugh about, lots of things to think about too. And no dude i am not turning gay ok, i (still) like girls.

And yes i got my world cup channel subscription today too! So i can watch Brazil and Croatia tomorrow morning at 3am WOOOOOOOO! Happeh Happeh days! Paul's b'day was really fun too, great to see all the guys and girls who i've missed for the past 2 weeks. Was a wee bit awkward when you saw that there were kinda...groups of people cos' not everyone know each other, but ahhh it was alright, what mattered was Paul that night, not us :) Hope you had a blast dude!

And right now i have Pour Que Tu M'Aimes Encore by Il Divo stuck in my head. Go and listen to it it's very very nice, i love their voices, especially the tenors, they're very very good. The baritone...a little rough for my taste but still nice in the harmony nonetheless.

Judging by the looks of things and how my schedule really is packed till the end of next year...i really think i'm gonna win two sakae sushi buffets right now :p Mugger, Fatanael, be prepared to feed me you noobs mwahahahah! Lucky Zhang Kahn never go and bet with me also or he'd have to feed me. But seriously man, really got like no time for anything these days...i'm really really sorry if i sound cold over msn or don't reply your messages for a long time, yes i know people have been complaining, but it's really not my fault i don't wanna dao you on purpose. Man i miss the days when i could just stare at my phone for 2 hours and reply message after message without caring about anything else :\ Ahhh well......life goes on.

K lah k lah back to finishing up another chapter of chem before sleeping for 3 hours and waking up for BRAZIL VS CROATIA HAHAHAH! :D

1 Year Anniversary at 11:52 PM

Friday, June 09, 2006

I just read Wan Chee's and my brother's blog and watched the video. Why do we keep wanting to excel? Why do we keep searching for fulfillment and for meaning in our lives? I thought that the video really summed it up very sweetly, it's because you can't see the clock above your own head, you can't hear the hands slowly ticking down the second of your life, nor can you know how, where or when that clock will stop. This second is now the past. We will never be here again. But knowing that this moment will never come again, and not knowing what the future holds, but fighting for that minute of brightness, that's what makes it all the more beautiful. I never want to be immortal. I never want to be here for eternity seeing no end in sight, not knowing that every second might be my last, never being able to see God.

These things also got me thinking about all the times i felt down, depressed, like my world was crumbling around me, the times when i was crying out to God for an angel to save me, when the cold water was all around. It's funny how miracles happen in life, nobody can explain why or when they happen, but they just do. I believe in angels, but i started thinking, maybe God uses us to be his angels sometimes. Just like how those people were saved by other ordinary people on the streets, maybe we're all given a mission, not just to save physical lives, but spiritual ones too. Maybe God does use man for angels, gives them wings to fly others out of disaster sometimes, when His angels go on strike :p But i'm really so grateful to some of the people in my life...if there really were angels on earth, they'd get my votes...yes Kor, yes Jie, you're both one of those people i won't begrudge you of that. And i don't want to end up losing my room either :P Seriously though, i've never been one to open up easily, so the few people that are inside my own little circle of trust are really precious. Nobody new has come inside in the past 2 years, and i don't know if anyone else will in the future. Those are the angels on earth in my life, each and every one of them special in their own ways, and all so so important. Thank God for the blessing of friends :)

1 Year Anniversary at 9:44 PM

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the thing of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace

Through It All
I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of Love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all

Just the choruses, but click here and select hi-fi if you wanna listen to how they sound. That's me by the way so don't expect much, download the song if you want :)

Why the songs? Because we sang one this morning when i went for SV fellowship at a building near Frieda's church, and the other at youth fellowship at Zion which i went for the first time and really enjoyed :D But these two songs really touched me very very deeply. Been crazy these few weeks, with all the meetings, CCAL camp, training and planning for council, house and for orientation(yes we've started). Incredibly incredibly gay and there were so many times where i just felt like this machine going on about my job and everything was just so mechanical and there was no more life in me. But whenever i come back to God, whenever i turn my eyes upon Jesus, the things of earth really do grow dim, nothing else seems to matter anymore, not the work that i have to finish, not the deadlines, not the training, not the ache in my body, not the stress nor the cares nor the worries that the world brings. It's all about God, only about God. And there's where i truly find my peace and my solace, the only place, the only person that can give me the comfort and sanctuary that my heart yearns for.

There've been so many times that i felt like giving up, that i didn't want to do anything anymore i just wanted to bury myself and hide but then i feel the arms of God around me, those everlasting arms that'll never let me go, and i feel the energy to continue on and in the end there's so much joy and happiness at the end of the project or event. Not just because i've done a good job, but because i know that God is there with me. And i'll always give unto Him hymns of love, because of His great faithfulness to us that will never be forsaken.

Training camp starting on Monday...i'm REALLY REALLY scared there's this dread hanging over my head not wanting it to come because we all know how crazy it is...it's probably the only time you'll see 30 teenage boys crying at the same time...it really is that mad. But it's definitely one of the best memories i've had of RI, going through it with the other Judokas and spurring each other on in spite of the tears and the blood and the sweat. I'll get this done, with God on my side, nothing can stand in my way.

Really pray that God will guard my time well though, i'll pretty much only have 2 weeks to study for common test and i really really don't want to screw this up. Mom will kill me :\ and i'll be really disappointed with myself. Pray pray pray pray pray VERY hard for me pleaseeee. Thanks you guys :)

And to anyone from the O-comm who's reading this, rest up well this hols man, it's probably gonna be the last one you'll have this year :S

1 Year Anniversary at 12:25 AM